Hey folks, I figured I'd update you on the headed chicken fiasco that was my Wednesday. As promised, I ran my butt to the "regular" grocery store and bought some boneless, skinless "safe" chicken breasts for my fabulous crock pot extravaganza recipe. Remember the text I sent my roommate upon discovering the (Not) Headless Chicken? Well shortly after returning from the market with the new chicken, my roommate phones me asking "what is up with the head attached , not eating text?" I explained in my best whiny, distraught voice about the traumatizing chicken showdown. The laughter that exploded through the phone could be heard for miles I'm sure. With my pride a little bruised I shouted "oh yeah, well guess what, you get to deal with headed chicken when you get home!" All I could hear was a croaked "Ok" through the laughter and then the hang up tone.
While dinner that night had been intentionally planned for later in the evening (my roommate wasn't getting home till later due to work) our over enthusiastic crock pot that usually cooks in record time, decided to take it's own sweet time with the new chicken. So the "meal" as it were wasn't complete till about 9pm...just in time for roomie to get called back into work. The dinner was just about ready, but not something that could easily travel. *Sigh*
Breakfast burritos it was! Sounds easy enough...yeah I have this little issue that crops up when I am talking and doing other activities such as driving, cooking etc...things that require some undivided attention... I lose track of what I am doing, where I am going or generally miss the boat altogether. Well what should have been a quickly scramble a couple eggs and throw whatever left over was in the fridge into it and send roomie on their way dinner didn't turn out so. It turned into shredding old potatoes (who knew they could last that long?), sort of cooking said potatoes ( I say sort of as they sort of congealed into a wad of potato that resembled a dirty snowball.), and then chopping (not my forte, Gordan Ramsey would scream, swear and kick me off the show the minute I lifted the knife.) onions, tomatoes and mushrooms to dump in the mix. Rather than 2 eggs, I absentmindedly used 6, which meant I needed to use more of the other ingredients too. I end up thinking "wow...I'm actually doing that plan ahead thing". You know the one...the one I always see on Pinterest where you make up a shit load of food and freeze it for "stress-free" morning meals for your family. So then I started thinking I was a breakfast burrito rock star. That was until I realized that A) I don't like mushrooms, tomatoes, or onions in my eggs let alone most of my food (see my first post regarding the "rules"), and B) because of A. I would not be eating any of this food I just cooked and C) Roomie was about to be eating a truck load of breakfast burritos for every meal. So we proceeded to pull out every type of tortilla we had in the fridge (we had several kinds given the neighbor has recently started doing store deliveries for a mom & pop tortilla start-up.) I made corn tortillas, flour tortillas, whole wheat flour tortillas, low carb wheat tortillas, large tortillas and alas, small tortillas. Using up the majority of the Tupperware available in the house, the breakfast burrito assembly line began. Tortilla, eggs mixture, sprinkle of cheese and a line of salsa verde (YUCKKK IT'S GREEN!!!), roll it up and in the container it goes. I wrapped a few in foil for the road since roomie really needed to get outta there as they mistakenly thought the wait for food would be short. *LOL* Righhhhhhttttt.... ;)
Bout the time roomie left...guess what? Crock pot extravaganza was done! BASTARD! I tasted the concoction that had taken so much time and effort to create. How was it? Well you know that moment when you've been working on the meal so much that you don't even want to eat it anymore? Yeah that was me. At that point, all I cared about was that the chicken was cooked to the point that no one in the house would get any raging stomach chaos that would most certainly clog up the septic system with angry uncooked poultry rage. Besides, we are almost out of toilet paper and only have less than a quarter of a box of Kleenex in the house, so no stomach issues are allowed at this time.
Giving up and staring wearily at the now very large mountain that was my dishes in the sink, I packaged up the remaining burrito supply as well as the crock pot extravaganza and off to the fridge they went! I pushed them way back so I would not have to look the spoils of my efforts in the proverbial eye. Meanwhile, I pulled out some left over tomato soup and ate it with some crackers, had an "awwwww it's ok" cookie and got cracking on the dishes that were multiplying like rabbits in my sink. I realized while washing the dishes (Yep, hand washing!) that I think I used every fork in the house that evening. I'm so very afraid of getting bubble guts or worse from eating or coming into contact with undercooked chicken that I used a new fork every time I checked the crock pot! I probably always overcook chicken for the same reasons. Which begs the question...why is that the Olive Garden can make the most tender, tasty chicken dishes that you don't even need a knife to cut? Meanwhile I either under cook to the point that the chicken gets up off the pan/grill on it's own, flipping me off as it walks away or I overcook it to the point of gaining door stop status? These are the things one thinks about while hand washing dishes. So after finishing the small country that was my dishes, I called it a night, vowing that we would in fact eat the crock pot extravaganza tomorrow come hell or high water.
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